Chocolate
by hannahjap
Summary: A dismal valentine's day treat for you. Mello x Near.


Chocolate. Everywhere you could look there was chocolate. Of all the things… He'd wanted to go for a walk to clear his head, but this was just making it worse. Why was it everywhere at the moment..? Oh; oh no. Was it February already? Yes, it must be. Oh no. No. This wasn't the right time. If only he'd realised; he wouldn't have gone outside. Was it today, then? He had to check somehow.

Near made his way along the street, wondering how he could find out the date. His mind was scrambled. He had only wanted to have a little time to think, to get some air… A couple of girls emerged from a shop, carrying a bag which, he was almost certain, contained more chocolate. It was as if someone was taunting him. He drew in a breath; never comfortable trying to talk to strangers.

"Excuse me…" The two girls snapped out of their scatter-brained conversation, exchanging a look and a giggle at the expense of the rattled looking boy who had approached them. Near chose to ignore it. "What is the date?" They shared another look, as if deciding between themselves that he was a complete idiot. Stupid girls.

"It's valentine's day. How can you _not_ know that..?" They laughed together again and wandered off. He glared after them for a second, regretting his decision to ask them. But they'd told him what he needed to know; if only he had got a different answer. He started slowly off again down the pavement, curling a lock of hair unconsciously between his fingers. Valentine's day. And for once he was not distracted by work. He tried to remember the last time he'd been consciously aware of the holiday; the last time he hadn't had a chance to throw himself into some puzzle or other to keep his mind away from it. The answer bothered him even more. He must have been sixteen; a time before he had left Wammy's house to devote himself fully to the Kira case. There had only been a few in between being too young to properly grasp the concept of the day and being too busy to notice it, and that had been the last one. There was nothing special about that in itself, but the thought of the old orphanage had dragged his musings down a different path entirely.

Mello. He had seen him last not very long ago, but before that time it had been years. He recalled that Valentine's was, ironically, one of the days when he had invariably wished Mello would come back and say he'd changed his mind, Near, sorry, Near, and that he'd love to work together, Near. He never had. Indeed, the last time they'd seen each other was over a silly photograph. And that had been business as usual. It would have been silly, it _had_ been silly, to think he'd ever return for any other reason.

Chocolate. Mello had always loved the stuff, and Near had never quite understood why. It made him sick. Mello had usually laughed at him for that, calling him names. That was always the way… But now Near found himself surrounded it, and decided he had to get out of this part of the town. He sped up his steps as much as he could without running and made off in a different direction. Damn it. This was the last thing he wanted to be thinking about.

It occurred that if Kira was still around to keep him busy then this would never have happened. Then again, if he had stayed inside today it wouldn't have happened, either. But his mind had been restless; perhaps he had been intrinsically aware of the date after all. Maybe he shouldn't have come back to England so soon, but what was the point of staying in Japan..? No point. He had no friends there. Not that he had any here, of course, but at least it was home. Although admittedly it did not feel like it right now.

He had not been paying attention to where he was going, but he found that he had ended up in a side street. It seemed familiar somehow, but he couldn't place it. He searched his memory, trying to think when he had been here before… No. No, that couldn't be right. Could it..? It was starting to rain; just a spit for now, but it would get quickly worse. If he wanted to know for sure, he had to be fast about it. At a run this time, he set off the way he thought, but hoped not, he would find the building.

His feet slowed and, out of breath, he looked up at the old fashioned gates. His feet had brought him here, of all places, on Valentine's day. Wammy's. He breathed in, holding it, not wanting to believe that he was back here again. He had never wanted to come back. Especially not today, when he was already trying to hold back unwelcome nostalgia. This wasn't right. It wasn't fair.

"You'll be fine." The voice caught him off-guard; not least because he recognised it. He looked at the figure, wondering if they were just oddly similar to the person he wanted them to be. But they pulled back their hood and they weren't. It was Mello.

Near stared in disbelief. Why would Mello have come to their old home as well today? Maybe he too had been brought here unwittingly by his feet. It seemed a little too fortunate. Mello smiled at him, much softer than he ever had before. Near realised that he was probably gawking, and attempted to rearrange his expression abruptly.

"What brings you here, Near?" Near did not know how to reply. He did not know what had brought him here. Was it intuition? Dumb luck? Fate..?

"What about you Mello, why are you here?" His voice was weaker than he would have liked, but it did not bother Mello. His smile did not flicker.

"I came to see you." Near's mouth twitched. He wanted to smile, he really did. But this wasn't right. He couldn't put his finger on what it was.

"What..?" They both waited. Near couldn't tell what he was waiting for, and he obviously could not offer Mello what he was waiting for, either. So they both stood for a moment in the increasingly heavy rain, eyes locked, without speaking. Suddenly, Mello lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Near's shoulders; resting his head against the boy's neck. Near didn't know what do to; he wanted desperately for his mind to shut up and let him enjoy the moment, but it just wouldn't stop telling him to find out what was wrong. And then, as Mello held him in a way that was utterly unlike anything he had ever done before, he placed it. His heart sank.

"Mello…?" Mello did not respond at once, nudging Near's neck with his nose softly.

"Why do you always have to be thinking Near?" It was a plea; he was practically begging him to let it be. "Why can't you ever just leave it be?" Near found it hard to say the next thing. He would rather leave it be, as Mello asked. But he couldn't.

"Where is your scar, Mello..?" Mello seemed to freeze against him. He drew back, but his hands remained on Near's shoulders. His eyes were wide, as if he had been trapped.

"What are you talking about?" Mello asked, seemingly innocent. Near bit his lip. He resisted closing his eyes.

"The last time we met, Mello… you had a scar. And now you don't." Mello reached up and touched the side of his face where Near knew there was supposed to be a huge burn. There was nothing there; Mello's skin was as perfect as it had been the day he had left the orphanage which now sat behind them. He looked, Near now noticed, exactly as he had done at Wammy's house when they had known one another. He was just taller, his voice sounded as it had the last time they spoke… But it was the scar which had tipped him off. He knew what was happening.

"You didn't come here to see me, Mello." His voice was wavering. Mello started back helplessly. "You couldn't have done. Because you died." Mello's smile returned, but it was sad now. He sighed, resting one hand on the side of Near's face. And nodded gently.

"Yeah, I guess I did. And I suppose that means this isn't real…" Mello stroked Near's cheek with two of his fingers. "That's a shame." He moved his hand to cup Near's chin and hold it up towards him.

"Why are you always thinking, Near..?" He muttered, as he leaned in to kiss him. Near closed his eyes. After a second, he opened them again. Mello was gone. He was standing alone outside his old home in the rain. On Valentine's day. He started bleakly up at the old orphanage. He would never come here again, and neither would Mello. But then Mello would never go anywhere, ever again. He was gone.

And Near was left alone.


End file.
